Proclamations

As the Russell family's sole Shellback up until the point where the members of
Candine the sacred line of north and south did cross, I take it upon
myself, Peter (the Captain's bigger brother), to remotely and universally to
make official all proclamations as are needed to ensure the safe introduction
of all said members into the Domain of those who have crossed the sacred line...

*Ahem* (all rise)
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A Proclamation:
Whereas by our* Royal Consension, Our Trusty, Well Beloved Christopher
Yayahkeekoot has this day entered Our Domain. We do hereby declare to
all whom it may concern that it is Our Royal Will and Pleasure to
confer upon him the Freedom of the Seas without undue ceremony. Should
he fall overboard, We do command that all Sharks, Dolphins, Whales,
Mermaids and other dwellers in the Deep are to abstain from
maltreating his person. And we further direct all Sailors, Soldiers,
Airmen and others who have not crossed Our Royal Domain, to treat him
with the respect due to One of Us. Given under Our Hand at Our Court
on board** H.M.S. Candine on the Equator in Longitude 130° W on this
5th day of April in the year 2008.
(Signed)
His High (on the Hog)ness, Peter — High Clerk
And in name of His Royal Righteousness Neptune — Pompous Peter

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*Ahem* (again)

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A Proclamation:
Whereas by our* Royal Consension, Our Trusty, Well Beloved Austen
Holland-Roy has this day entered Our Domain. We do hereby declare to
all whom it may concern that it is Our Royal Will and Pleasure to
confer upon him the Freedom of the Seas without undue ceremony. Should
he fall overboard, We do command that all Sharks, Dolphins, Whales,
Mermaids and other dwellers in the Deep are to abstain from
maltreating his person. And we further direct all Sailors, Soldiers,
Airmen and others who have not crossed Our Royal Domain, to treat him
with the respect due to One of Us. Given under Our Hand at Our Court
on board** H.M.S. Candine on the Equator in Longitude 130° W on this
5th day of April in the year 2008.
(Signed)
His Highness, Peter — High Clerk
And in name of His Royal Righteousness Neptune — Pompous Peter
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*Ahem Ahem* (these ceremonies take time....)
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A Proclamation:
Whereas by our* Royal Consension, Our Trusty, Well Beloved Elizabeth
Holland has this day entered Our Domain. We do hereby declare to all
whom it may concern that it is Our Royal Will and Pleasure to confer
upon her the Freedom of the Seas without undue ceremony. Should she
fall overboard, We do command that all Sharks, Dolphins, Whales,
Mermaids and other dwellers in the Deep are to abstain from
maltreating her person. And we further direct all Sailors, Soldiers,
Airmen and others who have not crossed Our Royal Domain, to treat her
with the respect due to One of Us. Furthermore, she should be shown
unquiverring respect by her fellow Shipmates. (Just to set the record
straight). Given under Our Hand at Our Court on board* H.M.S. Candine
on the Equator in Longitude 130° W on this 5th day of April in the
year 2008.
(Signed)
His Highness, Peter — High Clerk
And in name of His Royal Righteousness Neptune — Pompous Peter
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Aaaaand *Ahem*
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A Proclamation:
Whereas by our* Royal Consension, Our Trusty, Well Beloved Huckleberry
has this day entered Our Domain. We do hereby declare to all whom it
may concern that it is Our Royal Will and Pleasure to confer upon this
Feline the Freedom of the Seas without undue ceremony. Should he/she
fall overboard, We do command that all Sharks, Dolphins, Whales,
Mermaids and other dwellers in the Deep are to abstain from
maltreating his/her person (and maybe to offer a small fish as
dinner). And we further direct all Sailors, Soldiers, Airmen and
others who have not crossed Our Royal Domain, to treat said Cat with
the respect due to One of Us. Given under Our Hand at Our Court on
board** H.M.S. Candine on the Equator in Longitude 130° W on this 5th
day of April in the year 2008.
(Signed)
His High (on the Hog)ness, Peter — High Clerk
And in name of His Royal Righteousness Neptune — Pompous Peter
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*Ahem Ahem Ahem* (this is getting Tedious)
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A Proclamation:
Whereas by our* Royal Consension, Our Trusty, Well Beloved Lilliebelle
has this day entered Our Domain. We do hereby declare to all whom it
may concern that it is Our Royal Will and Pleasure to confer upon him
the Freedom of the Seas without undue ceremony. Should he/she fall
overboard, We do command that all Sharks, Dolphins, Whales, Mermaids
and other dwellers in the Deep are to abstain from maltreating his
person (and maybe to offer a small crayfish or Octopus as dinner). And
we further direct all Sailors, Soldiers, Airmen and others who have
not crossed Our Royal Domain, to treat said Cat with the respect due
to One of Us. Given under Our Hand at Our Court on board** H.M.S.
Candine on the Equator in Longitude 130° W on this 5th day of April in
the year 2008.
(Signed)
His Highness, Peter — High Clerk
And in name of His Royal Righteousness Neptune — Pompous Peter
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and well, thanks for coming
OH - almost forgot

***AHEM*** (all stand to attention when I address the capitain!)
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A Proclamation:
Whereas by our* Royal Consension, Our Trusty, Well Beloved Timothy
Russell (also known simply as Tim) has this day entered Our Domain. We
do hereby declare to all whom it may concern that it is Our Royal Will
and Pleasure to confer upon him the Freedom of the Seas without undue
ceremony. Should he fall overboard, We do command that all Sharks,
Dolphins, Whales, Mermaids and other dwellers in the Deep are to
abstain from maltreating his person. And we further direct all
Sailors, Soldiers, Airmen and others who have not crossed Our Royal
Domain, to treat him with the respect due to One of Us. (But he
himself should show his own Brother a little more respect) Given under
Our Hand at Our Court on board** H.M.S. Candine on the Equator in
Longitude 130° W on this 5th day of April in the year 2008.
(Signed)
His High (on the Hog)ness, Peter — High Clerk and Bigger Brother
And in name of His Royal Righteousness Neptune — Pompous Peter

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You may all now call yourselves Shellbacks!

Now, if you will all pay your Crossing Fees by Paypal - that's $731,21
per person, $223,23 per Cat and a $25 fine for having such filthy
Bilgewater!

Court is adjourned!

Notes:
*Of course, I am speaking for all Shellbacks
** On Board was commanded in 1950 by King Neptune to also include all
Blogs, Radio Transmissions and Vanity web sites.... That King Neptune
is pretty far ahead of his time....